Field operatives are reminded to pick up their new uniforms at their earliest convenience. In addition to generating greater resistance against Stunning spells, the new material has been treated with a tincture distilled out of firedrake scales, lending it greater fire retardant qualities. Anyone who wishes to thank Agent Murello for his work testing the new jackets should forward any notes or gifts to Room 703 at the Daniel Randolph Center for Magical Maladies.
—Aurors’ Board Memo, Spring 2014
i dont even have guilty pleasures anymore i just like stuff and if people have a problem with that they can go fuck themselves
healthy snack in under 1 minute!
- buy organic apple
- take “organic” sticker off of apple
- throw out apple
- place sticker on box of oreo™ cookies
the reason you find little cuts and bruises you don’t remember getting is because at night bats fly in your room and beat you up in your sleep
- you smell different when you’re awake
- please help me (then smile as if nothing happened)
- you have lovely skin, i can’t wait to wear it
- your hair tastes like strawberries
- tonight… you.
- he knows, don’t go home.
- i always knew you would die in my arms
- every time i poop i think of you
- no one will ever believe you
- i killed mufasa
- i bet you didn’t feel me lick your ear
- mother told me it would be like this
- hail hydra
A comic of my current favorite tumblr post in existence.
oH MY GOD. YOU DREW STEVE IRWIN’S VICTORIAN ANCESTOR. PLEASE WAIT WHILE I GOOGLE WHICH STATES I CAN LEGALLY MARRY DRAWINGS IN THIS IS THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN